[created] for something greater

Hmm… i think I’m in love with Brooke Fraser.

Haha…

oh yea… i just made some fried rice, mmmm i have to say it is probably one of the best plates of fried rice i have ever cooked…

yay… can’t wait to celebrate God with Ablaze !!!!

i just remembered something (also subtle reminded by a dear sister on sunday that i forgot to blog about haha)

Someone proposed to me on Saturday. Ok so it wasn’t a real proposal but it sure resulted in many stunned mullets and a moment of silence before a sudden burst of uncontrollable laughter and attempts to get herself out of the whole she had just dug. It was the awesome Rosie’s 22nd Birthday that we celebrated on Saturday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

(We already had a time where we shared about them at the party so no need for me to say anything now =D)

p.s. This is why COCB is the greatest school to have attended.

Let me introduce to you the Class of ‘05

[friends for life i reakcon]

My biggest fear has become a reality today.

I now feel physically, mentally, emotionally but most of all spiritually drained, burdened, frustrated and unsatisified.

They need You God, I need Your comfort now God.  I feel so unable and discouraged.  Please help me God strengthen me, fill me with Your faith and Your love and Your compassion.   

What an awesome way to end the night, by attending the Brooke Fraser Albertine Australian Tour Concert.

Man she is awesome.  This night was truly a blessing from God.  If you guys don’t know, Nick, Laura, Emma and myself were going to attend Brooke Fraser concert but sadly the tickets had sold out before we could purchase them, but there was nothing we could do so we just had to get over it.  But just last monday, Brooke’s myspace advertised that there were some tickets left over to be sold so Emma instantly booked them for us.  Man we were so excited that we actually got tickets!  But we were even more stoked when we found out our seats.  For some unfortunate others they were in the third last row from the back even though they had bought their tickets the day they were on sale.  Emma booked our tickets last monday and we ended up in the 6th ROW FROM THE FRONT.  It was AWESOME!!!!

Although she had a flu Brooke still sounded awesome… Truly an awesome casual fun show.  She sang most of her songs from Albertine and Waste Another Day and Better from her previous album.  Loved just her fun spirit and passion that exudes from her lyrics and singing.  Oh yea Nigel the Hillsong guitarist was her guitarist!

The show opened with an instrumental to the C.S. Lewis Song - sounded much like epilouge.  My favourites would have to be Hosea’s Wife, Albertine, Lifeline, Hymn… yea… but all the songs were good.  Shes real funny ay, told some funny stories, payed out her sound guy haha…

Well after the show after some discussion with Laura and Emma we finally decided to muster up the guts to try get an autograph from Brooke, sadly she had left straight after the show (guess she needs rest from her flu) but we did manage to have a chat with Nigel and a photo as well!  Very nice bloke, we told him about our plans to shout out for them to play Hosanna but … he declined and said not here haha…

Overall it was an awesome show, haha although it was meant to start at 7, they only opened the doors at 7:30 and the opening act started at like 8:15pm.  Brooke came on at 9PM and left about 10:30PM haha… but it was all worth it.

So Shirls and Freedy know that it was AWESOME! and 6th row was AWESOME!!!!! and here are some… eh illegal photos i took with me phone haha enjoy!

p.s. next time she is in town… she is a must must must see

Myself, Laura, Emma & Nick waiting in the Tivoli for Brooke Fraser to start

Nice pic i took with my phone.  I think this song was Life line

Another nice picture i took with my phone.  This was when she sang Waste Another Day

Ahh finally the picture of us with Nigel the guitarist.

Today has to be one of those days I consider a real blessing from God.

Well firstly the day started with Empowered and Nick, Lisa, Lucy, Tina, Liz and myself came together to just worship the Lord and sit under his teaching. It was a real awesome time of just fellowship and the Word that was spoken was so convicting and so appropriate for this season of IGVO’s life. We read a passage in Revelations which talked about the Church of Ephesus. Basically this was the 2nd generation church of the Ephesians and what is so impacting about this passage is what God spoke to them. This church was a church that flourished in it’s ministry but although they flourished in ministry God used this strength against them and said “You have forsaken your first love… you must repent and if you do not repent I shall take away your lampstand”. Man how crazy is that! They do everything really well. Just imagine the church with the best band, best receptionist, best PA and light crew, best logistics team… think of every ministry you can and think of the best… this is this church … But God wasn’t satisfied with this, he wanted more than just their service, He wanted their “LOVE” and not just any love but their “FIRST LOVE”… that first encounter, that first experience you had with God, that is what God wanted from them.

This spoke volumes to all of us… for myself i have become so wrapped up in ministry… i even found it hard to be involved in praise and worship and the preaching, constantly worrying about time and programs… but today God reminded me of the basics, to Love Him… Just like Mary and Martha God reminded me to not be worried about many things but to just sit at the feet of Jesus.

We also had a time where we discussed about “if God was to write a letter to voltage like this letter to the the Church of Ephesus, what would he say to us.”  Lucy, Liz and myself discussed and it was a real bit reality check for ourselves mostly.  I guess after this discussion we realised that this scripture was more true to us than we thought it was.

After empowered we had LG with voltage. It was a kinda special voltage as we had a worship and prayer session. It was really awesome to see voltage just praise and worship God and God moved powerfully in that place. As I knealt before God wanting to experience that feeling i got when i had my life changing encounter with Jesus nothing happened. I felt disappointed and confused but just continued to press into God and then it happened. God reminded me of that time in the scripture when Jesus washed His disciples feet, then he reminded me of when some leaders had shared about other LG’s in the church doing this with their members and experiencing a breakthrough - When God showed me this image i just burst out crying, God reminded me of the fundamentals - to simply serve.

We also had some Words from the Lord from 1 Tim 3:14 ( i think ) and Eph 6 something (the armor of God)

Lord I pray that you would continue to work in my life. I pray Lord that You will equip me with you armor everyday, so that i will not be affected by the flaming arrows of the enemy. I pray Lord that as You have spoken this word into my life, that i will continue to serve You and Your people. Lord God i thank You so much for Voltage and the soft, open hearts they present before. Continue to work in their lives and challenge them daily. Lord You are so good to me and i am so underserving. Thank you Lord

The other day God reminded me of the scripture that talks about being planted by the Living Waters and He challenged to think about

Where am I planted?

Am I planted in shallow soil or good soil?
Am I planted in my friends or in a Godly community?
Am I planted in the World or in the Church?
Am I planted in the presence of the enemy or am i planted in the presence of God?

God I pray that I will continue to be planted in your presence, by the Living Water and not in the shallow soil.  Lord I pray that Your Word would continue to take deep root in my life and that you would continue to be that water which nourishes the roots.  I am sorry Lord and repent for the times I have planted myself in the shallow soil, in the soil that supports a vigourous growth but is not able to sustain, the soil which is far from the nourishment of the Living Waters.  Thank You Lord

This has truly been an emotional week.  This week has been filled with so many different emotion tugging occurrences that as I reflect back on the week I can’t help but say.  “What is going on God?”

This week I have gone through so many emotions I am shocked that I was able to focus on God tonight.  Let’s see what emotions I’ve gone through:

Frustration
Anger
Sadness
Shock
Surprise
Helplessness
Regret
Confusion
Fear
Sympathy
Joy
Disbelief
Peace
Gratitude
Brokenness
Love
Anxious

Aye, some of the emotions I can’t even explain.  Well today I attended my mates funeral and as I sat amongst the 150 people I just couldn’t feel anything.  I listened to the stories told by his parents, brothers and uncles as well as the stories from his high school mates as well and in by the end of the funeral I was just amazed at the impact this guy had.  I thought to God “if i pass away what will I be remembered for?”.  Once again that sense of urgency to live life to the fullest by committing myself fully to God came about and I just said to God please use me to impact this world.

After the funeral caught up with a couple of mates and just thought how it has taken such a tragic event to bring us all back together.  But it was great to see most people again, bit surprised to see some people as well but I guess its awesome that they’ve come to just give their respect and support for their fellow school mate.  Well if your thinking about asking me how I am and if I’m okay with what has happened I shall tell you now.  I’m doing ok, I guess there is not much else I can do but keep him alive in my memory and hearing all the awesome stories today just reassured me that he was truly a great bloke.

But like many of us who knew Joel, life has become something to treasure and cherish and to not be taken granted of.  As well as this I have been struggling in my walk with God.  I feel like I’m hitting a glass ceiling but the sad thing is that I have an idea of what is stunting my growth.  God I need DISCIPLINE.  Coming to grips with the truth about my life is something I don’t necessarily enjoy.  I hate knowing the truth… ignorance is bliss… yes if your stupid… the Word of God says that the truth shall set you free and the first step to being set free by truth is accepting the truth,

I am undisiciplined

aiya, God I need your help.

I thank God for his wisdom today as well.  Gave me the strength and the courage to just step out and help patch up a misunderstanding.

But I thank God most of all for the Word he spoke today.  I was so refreshed and encouraged by the scripture from Isaiah that May spoke about.

Isaiah 40:12-23

 12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,

or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?

 13 Who has understood the mind ^[d] of the LORD,

or instructed him as his counselor?

 14 Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,

and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

 15 Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;

they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

 16 Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,

nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.

 17 Before him all the nations are as nothing;

they are regarded by him as worthless
and less than nothing.

 18 To whom, then, will you compare God?

What image will you compare him to?

 19 As for an idol, a craftsman casts it,

and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
and fashions silver chains for it.

 20 A man too poor to present such an offering

selects wood that will not rot.
He looks for a skilled craftsman
to set up an idol that will not topple.

 21 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

 22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,

and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

 23 He brings princes to naught

and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

But man I was so amazed at just how big God really is.  The nations are like dust to him!  He holds all the water in the world IN HIS HAND… not HANDS but HAND! That the breadth of his hand is the size of the heavens.  Amazing.  I was really refreshed by this scripture and just reminded of how MASSIVELY HUGE our God REALLY IS!!! After tonight God really reminded me of just how GREAT he is and just how much BIGGER he is than any situation in our lives.  But the awesome thing is that he chooses to dwell in you and me.

After tonight as i drove home i couldn’t help but thank God for all that his done.

 Man God you are so great.  Thank you God for choosing such an unworthy vessel to dwell in.  

This morning has presented itself with some great pleasures.  The awesome things have happened so far today and i shall blog about all three.

Firstly. Breakfast.  

yeap breakfast is a highlight to today already.   Why.  Well let me tell you.  Last night after our service creative meeting with Chris and Mei (which I have to say went relatively well) I stayed back to just listen in on worship practice (which sounded awesome, great job guys) mostly because me sheep will be playing bass for the first time in the band (GO JOSH), i received a call from home asking if I would be coming home for dinner.  Tonights menu Steamboat/hotpot ayE!  And the rainy cold weather makes for perfect steamboat atmosphere!  I sadly declined but enjoyed a yummy yet simple dinner of steamed rice and lamb and corn made by Chris (thanks Chris oh how i love lamb).  But this morning while scurring around the kitchen for food i thought to myself how much i dont want to eat cereal, so i opened the fridge and some left over sliced chicken, pork and beef from last night.  I thought why don’t i just stirfry it together or something, but then i noticed an ice-cream container, i opened it and there were vegies.

By this time i figured out it was leftovers from last night then ‘DING’ the lightbulb went off in my head and the genious creativity kicked in.  I am going to have my own lil steamboat on my own.  And low and behold breakfast this morning was STEAMBOAT! Yummy it was… extremely yum.  I have to say my soup base was a stoke of genious.  it comprised of - Chicken stock, water, soy sauce, mushroom sauce and some chinese cooking wine.  Yummy

secondly.  Brooke Fraser.

Yes Brooke Fraser.  As some might know I was originally meant to go to her Albertine Tour on the 26th of August but due to some complications I missed out on tickets because they were all sold out.  Aye.  Laura and Emma Nainby, Nick and myself were quite saddened but i guess we realised we can’t do much about it so we continued on with life.  I remember Nick and I saying we would just sit in our car and listen to Brooke Fraser while the others went to her concert haha… genious i love my shepherd!  So as the day grew closer to the Brook Fraser Concert i thought oh how sad =( BUT THEN… God Bless myspace.  The myspace addiction has payed off!  Emma quickly noticed the post by the Brooke Fraser official mypace that read.  BROOKE FRASER TICKETS ON SALE.  She straight away reserved 4 tickets i received a msg from Laura that arvo i gave Nick a rang called them back and it was good to go.  Oh man I was so happy to be going again!  Was a bit confused about how they could sell more tickets to a sold out concert but i guess they know what they are doing.

Well I saw Chris, Mei, Lisa, Tina, Amy & some of the other HBCC people who are coming tickets at the meeting last night and saw they were seated in row S section 2.  3rd from the Back.  I thought Oh man they bought tickets the day they were on sale how where am i gonna be sitting.  I joked with Chris and Mei that i would laugh so hard if Emma, Laura, Nick and I ended up in row FF (the very front row) dead centre, they laughed as well, the laugh of YEA RIGHT JUSTIN.   Well i finally managed to get in contact with Laura and Emma and asked about our seating arrangements.  Laura’s reply was as follows:

Section: S1
Row: AA
Seats: 21-24

Yeap i read those 3 lines … mouth fell agape (not A-Gap-Ay but as in wide open) i thought to myself.  This cannot be right the only rows with double letters are… no way.  After nudging and msg laura on msn 100000x saying ARE YOU SURE, ARE YOU FOR REAL, NO WAY, she replied saying why whats that mean?  I took a look at The Tivoli seating arrangments.  Row AA is… get this 6th from the front row!  seats 21-24 are DEAD CENTRE NEXT TO THE AISLE!

it may not be the front row but… only tow words can describe my current emotion.  Totally Stoked. still cannot understand why.  My best guess is that the presale tickets weren’t completely sold out so the week before they re-sold the left over tickets.  Woot woot.  Hurrah for Patience!  Thank you Lord is all i can say!  Now I’m definite that Brooke will hear our requests of Hosanna, Lord of Lords and Lead me to the Cross =D

Here is a picture version of our seating arrangements:

Thirdly.  a very Happy Birthday.

Finally I’d like to say Happy Birthday to a very special brother of mine. JP ERNI. It is now my turn to blog about this champ as some others already have (Lucy, Lisa) Yeap we go WAY back.  So many memories ay JP.  I still remember the first day I came back to Ablaze and I met JP, we always talk about this day because it was seriously one of the weirdest moments in my life.  JP had something REALLY funny that night and i could NOT get over it and wherever i saw him in the Player street house i just BURST out laughing.  I am SO SERIOUS… and even through praise and worship i would giggle when i saw him.  I eventually got over it but that is the first memory.  Eventually JP became my very first shepherd.  I laughed when i found this news out as well, don’t know why i laughed but i laughed.  I still remember the day i was told.  It was when we went to the Mt Gravatt service and after the service we were sitting at a table and Nick told me.  Well from that day he became my Shepherd.

We had some pretty great shepherdings but i have to say honestly, when i look back at those days i really took JP for granted and was probably a difficult sheep.  We had so many laughs… but he copped alot of the crap in my life.  My unwillingness, my disconnect, my dissatisfaction with life, my stubbornness, my selfishness, my lack of understanding, my laziness, my procrastination, my moodiness, my insecurities.  Yeap JP copped it all and although i may never have expressed myself to him as much as i would have liked to i know in my heart that as my Shepherd he knew these things about me.

Some stories about how bad i was as a sheep.  JP would come over on a saturday morning around 11am… not to early right.  Well he would come over and mum would let him in… and he would just sit on the floor next to my bed waiting for me to wake up.  I’m serious ask him!  It was particularly worse when i started to backslide.  I would fall asleep in teaching and i remember sometimes msging him an hour before shepherding wanting to cancel even though i knew he was already on his way.  There were times when he would still rock up and i’d be in a bit of a rut of what to do coz i know i straight out lied with my excuse.  Yeap i did all of this to JP and man i feel bad right now.  I often say to Nick that JP copped all the crap and had to dig and dig and dig until he found something only to pass on his find to someone else to refine.

But despite all of my badness… I would not be who i am today without JP…  JP brought out the best in me.  Because of him i finally came out of my shell… in good ways and in bad ways but overall JP helped me to find my true identity.  Because of him i am able to relate to so many people but am constantly amazed at how easy this fella is able to build relationships with new visitors.  He has such a heart for people and only now do i see it and appreciate it.  In many ways he planted his vision and passion for people into me and i know that a lot of my passion for people originates from this one man.  JP was also very blunt with me at times and i thank God that he was because the only people i copped correction from was teachers and parents never friends but through that i learnt to not be so insensitive to the people around me and that life is not all about me.

JP i just wanna say Thank You.  You might be hearing this stuff for the very first time and for that i am sorry!  I was so sad when your made the move from Ablaze 1 to Ablaze 3 haha i remember thinking Ablaze 1 will never grow now coz we don’t have JP’s people skillz.  But to hear what you are doing now in Lighthouse inspires me and encourages me constantly!  You are truly an asses to LH and know that you are going to do great things!  Thank you for all the good times we’ve had.  From the laughs to the tears to the difficulties you always stuck by me.  You have done an awesome job in building a strong solid foundation and without you i wouldn’t be where i am today.  So thank you for your perserverence and patience to see me through.  Love ya man.  Praying always for God’s blessing to be upon you!  Continue to be who you are. You are truly a [legend] 

 Love ya man

Today. Today. Today. I don’t think i will ever forget today. not because of my mid-semester exam that i only found out about last night but of news that i never thought i would hear.

A high school mate of mine passed away very very very very recently. I found out today when i bumped into a mate of mine at Uni and he told me what had happened. He passed away in his sleep but there is no news of what actually happened. Joel and I weren’t best buddies or even close buddies but I do and always will consider him a friend. I still remember how although we never hung out at lunch or in class the times we did have a chat i always remember walking away with a smile on my face. He was genuinely a good bloke a true blue fairdinkum bloke.

The day has been passing by and there hasn’t been a moment where i haven’t thought about what has happened. On the way home from Uni I just poured my heart out to God. I was angry, sad, frustrated, annoyed, worried, anxious but mostly uncertain. I began to think to myself that this guy is just like me. Born in the same year, went to the same school for 8 years together… i mean typing 1988- 2007 is not something I am comfortable with doing. I just began to think about how life can be so easily snatched away from us… i then began to think about my friends and the people around me and how easily their lives could be taken away… and some don’t even know God.

I just began to think more and more about how uncertain we are of our future, how uncertain we are that tomorrow we will even still be alive. Yes we have God but if i was to pass away tomorrow will i be able to sit next to Jesus, watch a replay of my life and at the end say to Jesus that i lived my life to the fullest, that i tried my best and gave my all in every situation.

Sadly… the answer is No.

I checked my e-mails and had received an Oxygen Boost from the motivational speaker Glen Gerryn titled “uncertainty”. I thought to myself… what the, this can’t just be a coincidence. The article read:

Uncertainty
“The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.”
Erich Fromm

The broad mass of humanity wants to be certain about their future. They want to know that everything will turn out in their favour as the unknown and indefinite frightens most. The human mind can cope with a lot of things, but one thing it can not cope with is chaos. So we try to make things fit or make sense through our own justifications, even when they clearly don’t. When we are uncertain or unsure about a thing we first establish a pre-existing framework and then force the new idea into that framework.

The truth is we know very little. For instance, if I asked you to write down 10 things you know for certain, many people would find the task difficult. Yet we walk around day in and day out thinking we know it all! To be honest, uncertainty is your friend. It’s what you don’t know that is really important because after all you don’t know what you don’t know, but when you do know it you are a changed person with new found knowledge. Drink deep from the well of uncertainty for that is where you will find the unknown.

Uncertainty has always been seen as a negative emotion… but let’s stop looking at the class half-empty and begin looking at it half-full. Uncertainty is what causes us to be motivated to do our best. When we walk into a new classroom with a brand new teacher and are uncertain of their standards we will naturally aim for the highest at first. We live life uncertain of what will happen tomorrow so lets live for today as if were our last.

Man this has to be the most heart-wrenching reality check ever.

Thank You God for the life You have given me. Thank You that I am able to walk, talk, breath… that I am able to just live. I am sorry for the times where I have taken this life for granted or taken for granted the lives of those around me You have blessed me with. I pray Lord that although I am uncertain of tomorrow that I will not just trust in You for protection but I will live each day to the fullest, that will seize every moment i have on this Earth. Lord I want to be able stand by You and say “I gave it my all God.” Lord I pray that You comfort the MacGregor’s during this time and You continue to be with us.

Amen

All you Bom Chicka Wah Wah fans… yes that is you Jien-Li… Might want to reconsider when you say it after lynx created these ads.

(that funniest is the last 2 … there are 4 ads in this vid)