There are a lot of negative emotions and feelings buzzing around my head the past few weeks after camp. But amidst it all I still feel the Holy Spirit convicting and reminding me of the commitments I made to God… not that it makes resisting temptation any easier.
In a recent conversation with God He reminded me of a verse that Lisa shared with me during an impromptu prophetic session at ALC.
Ps 119:9
9 How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
I struggle with God at times because I don’t always get that same feeling of instant satisfaction/gratification/pleasure/excitement/stimulation/relaxation, whatever you want to call it, that I can get from something like large amounts of junk food or watching TV for 4 hours or just lying in my bed day dreaming about procrastinating or do I dare say it… pornography.
I got thinking about how do I fill that bottomless pit that I have in my life? Why do I fill an infinite void in my life with finite things?
Well to fill and infinite void you need to fill it with an infinite thing… and the only that that has and will be here for eternity is God Himself.
I have seen a major change in my life since camp. I have made an effort to run to God first through prayer, reading the Bible, listening to praise or singing a Worship song. Other practical things have been turning off the radio, walking away from the internet, watching a documentary instead of a movie or going for a walk.
Just as Ps 119:9 says…The Word of God has lots of tips for beating sin. Gouging out your eye or cutting off your hand. Fleeing rather than fighting temptation. Renewing your mind… pray, pray, pray, pray and pray. Having friends who you can share your sins with. Having friends who will pray for you.
While I don’t always get instant release from how I’m feeling straight away… I know that God is building a resilience in me… His thickening my skin and equipping me with stronger armour. I always remember year 9 and 10 business where we learnt about delayed gratification. The idea of Pay Now Play Later… I believe that is how God works. His an oven not a microwave.
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